30th October 2011, 2325hrs
25 hours from now, God willing, I will be checking in at the hospital. And at 0900hrs on 1 Nov 2011, by His will, I will be meeting my baby. My fourth C-section.
Truth be told, I am extremely nervous. I can go on and on, on the many different ways how things could go wrong. What if I never wake up? What if tonight is my last night at home? It doesn't help when the husband sulks when I am melancholic like this. What if this is to be my last night with him? He's sleeping upstairs tonight, and my youngest is not feeling well - must be something she ate, diarrhea and vomiting. I am too lazy to climb u the stairs, too sad too angry too worried to make a good company. Or even to be a wife and mother. All I want is to be by myself and wallow in the dread.
What if I don't wake up at all?
Am I ready to leave? No, for thousands of millions of reasons - all selfish in nature.
My blood test results turn out to be okay, no diabetic.
We went for check up on Friday and baby's weight can be anywhere between 3 to 3.5 Kg, his 'age' can be anywhere between 36 to 40 weeks with a +/- of 22 days.
Doctor feels the baby is still high up in the uterus and so not a case of concern (for me to go into labor).
I have a dozen or so people, strangers included who would swear that I am carrying a boy. At the same time, a good number of people would bet on a girl, Dr Suhaimi included. I guess, we now have just one more day to find out, don't we?
My sister came over on deepavali, bringing with her what I would be eating during confinement. I think. Have everyting all set now. Just waiting for the baby to arrive and I live long enough to play mother to it.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Week 36
Today is 19 Oct 2011. I am 11 days away from D-day. Eeeeeeeps!
Had blood glucose test done this morning - am still waiting for the results. Hopefully the readings are normal. I should get the unofficial result by today, Dr Joy said she would call.
I have decided not to go to office today. It aches when I walk, and the tummy is always doing the tightening routine. Baby's movements may not be in the form of quick jabs and kicks anymore, but each motion is more painful. I know it is getting cramped in there and doesn't provide for much manouevering. It sure is painful. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the fact that the womb has been cut one 3 times, the pain is more felt now than before.
During the hospital visit, Dr Suhaimi accidentally mentioned that I would be getting a burger instead of a hot dog. Sheesh! Didn't I say NOT to tell me the gender?
Had blood glucose test done this morning - am still waiting for the results. Hopefully the readings are normal. I should get the unofficial result by today, Dr Joy said she would call.
I have decided not to go to office today. It aches when I walk, and the tummy is always doing the tightening routine. Baby's movements may not be in the form of quick jabs and kicks anymore, but each motion is more painful. I know it is getting cramped in there and doesn't provide for much manouevering. It sure is painful. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the fact that the womb has been cut one 3 times, the pain is more felt now than before.
During the hospital visit, Dr Suhaimi accidentally mentioned that I would be getting a burger instead of a hot dog. Sheesh! Didn't I say NOT to tell me the gender?
Monday, October 17, 2011
Week 35 - 17 Oct 2011
I am now two weeks away from D-day.
Things are all set - the room is ready, the hospital bag is ready, appointments with OT and masseur made, the necessary medicinal plants are all thriving well around the house. Recipes collected and the basic dry ingredients (anchovies, black pepper) all stocked up. I am good.
Was at the hospital just now. Baby's size is as per estimated week, plus minus a few days except for the stomach size. The baby's stomach size is as if it is 38 weeks. Weight estimation is 3kg. In two weeks, it would be 3.4kg. Now, that's a bit too big for my size.
We havent done a blood glucose level test yet. To rule out big-baby-due-to-diabetic-condition, that test is imperative. so i will be going this weekend.
Things are all set - the room is ready, the hospital bag is ready, appointments with OT and masseur made, the necessary medicinal plants are all thriving well around the house. Recipes collected and the basic dry ingredients (anchovies, black pepper) all stocked up. I am good.
Was at the hospital just now. Baby's size is as per estimated week, plus minus a few days except for the stomach size. The baby's stomach size is as if it is 38 weeks. Weight estimation is 3kg. In two weeks, it would be 3.4kg. Now, that's a bit too big for my size.
We havent done a blood glucose level test yet. To rule out big-baby-due-to-diabetic-condition, that test is imperative. so i will be going this weekend.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Week 32+
I definitely am very pregnant now with 4 more weeks to go before the C-date i.e 1/11/11.
It sure is worrying though to have people (and a lot of them too), look at my tummy and go cluck their tongue, looks like its going to be earlier than 1 November, they said.
According to the doctor, my actual due date is 17/11/11. But because it is a planned C, he penciled me in two weeks earlier. According to the Ultrasound scans, the baby is at 32-33 weeks of age, in terms of size and weight. The thing is, I couldn’t remember the first day of last menstruation and so 17/11/11 is calculated based on a date that I just guessed. As far as ultrasounds go, I am actually just a small chick, at 4’10”. Below average really. My hubby isn’t that tall either. Between the two of us, we produce small babies. And so I wonder, the maths in ultrasound machines are based on the average size of what babies? The world’s? Or non-asians? What if it is the average of Caucasian babies? Then at 2kg weight, my baby is actually older than 33 weeks! Then my due date really is earlier than 17/11/11 and so the C should have been done earlier than 1/11/11! Eeeeeeeeps! As if I don’t already have enough worries on my mind.
I feel contractions now, short sporadic ones, but painful still, as less-than-a-minute as they may be. The baby’s movement is less jerky due to less space, but more painful. I love to feel his knees and feet and push them back in when they potrude out from my belly. I find the baby’s movement a great comfort, reassuring.
I have bought most things now. Mattress, clothes, etc – for baby and me.
And so now we count the days, and wait, and we pray that the estimation date is a good intelligent guess.
It sure is worrying though to have people (and a lot of them too), look at my tummy and go cluck their tongue, looks like its going to be earlier than 1 November, they said.
According to the doctor, my actual due date is 17/11/11. But because it is a planned C, he penciled me in two weeks earlier. According to the Ultrasound scans, the baby is at 32-33 weeks of age, in terms of size and weight. The thing is, I couldn’t remember the first day of last menstruation and so 17/11/11 is calculated based on a date that I just guessed. As far as ultrasounds go, I am actually just a small chick, at 4’10”. Below average really. My hubby isn’t that tall either. Between the two of us, we produce small babies. And so I wonder, the maths in ultrasound machines are based on the average size of what babies? The world’s? Or non-asians? What if it is the average of Caucasian babies? Then at 2kg weight, my baby is actually older than 33 weeks! Then my due date really is earlier than 17/11/11 and so the C should have been done earlier than 1/11/11! Eeeeeeeeps! As if I don’t already have enough worries on my mind.
I feel contractions now, short sporadic ones, but painful still, as less-than-a-minute as they may be. The baby’s movement is less jerky due to less space, but more painful. I love to feel his knees and feet and push them back in when they potrude out from my belly. I find the baby’s movement a great comfort, reassuring.
I have bought most things now. Mattress, clothes, etc – for baby and me.
And so now we count the days, and wait, and we pray that the estimation date is a good intelligent guess.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Week 30+
Smurfette is on my tummy, courtesy from Daughter No.1. I dont know how long it can stay there guarding the baby :)
Week 30
Some achievements thus far (am proud of myself:-
• I have bought some things for the baby. The basics - cloth diapers, rocker, blanket, towels, clothes, scratch mittens and socks. I avoid the colours blue and pink and as much as possible kept on the safe unisex or genderless colours like green and yellow and purple.
• I have also contacted a friend who has this business of treatment for after-birth. It is quite pricey!! Massage will cost me RM60 per treatment and I am supposed to take at least 3 days! If I want the lady to really do the whole show, binders and the hotstone and the pastes, the cost can be as high as RM100 per day. Super expensive! In my hometown, I could get the massage for a mere RM30 per day. Since I will be in confinement here and not in Kluang, I will have to swallow the bitter pill of paying minimum of RM60 per day.
• I have also confirmed which company I will engage for the cordblood banking – a public-listed company headed by scientists from UM i.e Stemlife. It’ll cost me RM4,650 but I am quite happy with the assurances that they made.
The baby is doing multiple-pirouette in my tummy now. While it does comfort me to feel it so active and ever-dancing, the jabs can be oh-so-painful too. Like right now, ouch.
The cough is back and that hurts the already weakening muscle below the navel.
The back pain is still there in the background, always demanding for a good back rub, not that the husband can always comply.
Happy, THAT i still am.
Excited, THAT i am getting more and more of with each passing day!
• I have bought some things for the baby. The basics - cloth diapers, rocker, blanket, towels, clothes, scratch mittens and socks. I avoid the colours blue and pink and as much as possible kept on the safe unisex or genderless colours like green and yellow and purple.
• I have also contacted a friend who has this business of treatment for after-birth. It is quite pricey!! Massage will cost me RM60 per treatment and I am supposed to take at least 3 days! If I want the lady to really do the whole show, binders and the hotstone and the pastes, the cost can be as high as RM100 per day. Super expensive! In my hometown, I could get the massage for a mere RM30 per day. Since I will be in confinement here and not in Kluang, I will have to swallow the bitter pill of paying minimum of RM60 per day.
• I have also confirmed which company I will engage for the cordblood banking – a public-listed company headed by scientists from UM i.e Stemlife. It’ll cost me RM4,650 but I am quite happy with the assurances that they made.
The baby is doing multiple-pirouette in my tummy now. While it does comfort me to feel it so active and ever-dancing, the jabs can be oh-so-painful too. Like right now, ouch.
The cough is back and that hurts the already weakening muscle below the navel.
The back pain is still there in the background, always demanding for a good back rub, not that the husband can always comply.
Happy, THAT i still am.
Excited, THAT i am getting more and more of with each passing day!
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