Week 28+

I am hoping for a boy, because I love the way sons dote on their mothers. Plus, logistically it will be more convenient to have two kids share a room. If it's going to be another girl, I will need to figure out how to make room for three in that one bedroom :)
But really, it doesn't matter THAT much. Dr Suhaimi said in the last visit that he would bet all his money on a girl. That was at 5th month pregnancy. A boy's scrotum would only descend in the 6th month, so I told Dr Suhaimi to not tell me so I could still hope and pray for a boy. Frankly though, my own gut feeling says it will be a girl. We'll see, baby, we'll see.

The baby is going to be delivered in early November, if God wills it. I am excited, can't wait to finally meet that mystery person that Allah has kindly bestowed upon me, the one that feeds on what I eat, that breathes the enriched amniotic fluid my body provides for. Imagine a being so dependent on you, so much part of you in a way that no other will. To repeat the journey each one of us once walked with our mothers, imagine the circle to close, to be completed in such a way that only through His miracle such thing could happen. I just can't get over it! Am everyday awed by the wonders of pregnancy and motherhood.

See you soon, baby. Won't be long now. In the meantime, try not to push me too hard, ok?

Week 28

It is the third trimester now. So fast time seems to run by. While I do look forward for this whole episode to end with the baby's grand entrance into my life, I do feel a bit of dread, a bit of regret. This most probably will be my last pregnancy, never again will I have a squirming baby in my womb or the back ache, the indigestions, flatulence, spots on my face and the ever-persisting ache all over from top to toe. As uncomfortable as pregnancies may be, as 'bumpy' as the road (and my body) may be, it is a one-of-a-kind kind of experience, and I feel privileged by it all. Thinking that I will never experience the journey again makes me feel somewhat sad.

The baby is very active - sometimes it jabs me so hard that it hurts. But yaounde know what, I love it. It's a private moment, bonding moment only me and the baby know. I make Yamtuan and the kids put their hands on my bloated tummy to feel the movement but they can never exactly feel what I feel. How privileged is that?

Week 18+

it has been quite a while since i wrote in here. Slowing down when you are pregnant? An almost impossible feat for me, things have been absolutely crazy lately!

Yamtuan left for Osaka for almost a week, and i am not exactly used to being without him. The kids drove me nuts, his absence drove me up the wall and work demands from the office most certainly refused to be put in the backseat! I must have earned myself brand new locks of white hair and super-wrinkles.

Just before he left, we went to see Dr Suhaimi, the ObGyn. He said yes, the bleeding was due to low-lying placenta. Ultrasound scans did not seem to jitter him much, even if the placenta turned out to be another case of placenta praevia, its position is not that difficult for him during surgery. It didnt appear like it would be a major case.

Alhamdulillah.

I always feel so relieved after seeing him. He almost always manage to keep my jitters away. If he's not worried, i wouldnt be too.

I look very pregnant now. Guesses would range between 20 to 24 weeks. Yep, i am THAT fat. But do i care? Yes, a tiny bit.

The morning sickness has left entirely. I enjoy food better now (thus why i look many weeks ahead).

I am typing this on a Friday night, at 10.40pm, from the office. I just wanna be home. Am tired, but i cant leave just yet. Still have papers to review for the meeting tomorrow. Sigh...

I love you, baby. Cant wait to meet you!!

Week 12

Went to see a doctor last Friday after the blood-sighting. The ultrasound showed baby is okay, in fact, at one point we could see the baby turning and showing his/her back at us. Felt warm all over.

Only the placenta seems to be a bit too low. Too early to declare placenta praevia though. There is still high probability that as it grows it will move upwards. But this low lying placenta could be the reason i bled last week.

Doctor prescribes bed rest for a week. AS IF that's even possible! But i am slowing down, i stay seated most of the time and i dont run anymore.

Week 11++

Dearest Baby,

i discover some staining today. Saw the red tinge in the toilet bowl this morning but shrugged it off, thinking that maybe my eyes were doing tricks or it was just the bad lighting. But later in the afternoon - a good many hours after the stain i thought i saw, there it was again, worse than mere stains, i saw some clots.

Please please please be okay in there.

i am going to the clinic afterwards. Hopefully the doctor will tell me that it is nothing to be alarmed about and you are fine and happy inside in the comfort of my womb.

Please please please be okay.

Week 11+

Maybe i should change my script (or lies, if you must). I think I look 6-month ahead, so potruded is my belly now.

I am feeling a whole lot better now. I can start wearing maternity dresses. And because of the fact that i dont have waist of trousers or sarungs or skirts around my belly, i can eat better now (which explains, the 6-month sized belly i have). i am so very huge now i wonder how am i ever going to shed off the excess later! Groan!!

Tiga is really acting up. She cries hysterically over the smallest matters. Only later to justify that the crying is only because she is THE baby in the family. Sigh.... my poor baby.

Week 11

I am getting there, approaching the second trimester.

The morning sickness has subsided, not entirely but i have more and more good days in between episodes of face-in-toilet-bowl.

i am beginning to show too. Too early i know so most of the time, when asked how far ahead was i, i would say '3 months +'. Makes me appear less fat, if that's possible.