30th October 2011, 2325hrs
25 hours from now, God willing, I will be checking in at the hospital. And at 0900hrs on 1 Nov 2011, by His will, I will be meeting my baby. My fourth C-section.
Truth be told, I am extremely nervous. I can go on and on, on the many different ways how things could go wrong. What if I never wake up? What if tonight is my last night at home? It doesn't help when the husband sulks when I am melancholic like this. What if this is to be my last night with him? He's sleeping upstairs tonight, and my youngest is not feeling well - must be something she ate, diarrhea and vomiting. I am too lazy to climb u the stairs, too sad too angry too worried to make a good company. Or even to be a wife and mother. All I want is to be by myself and wallow in the dread.
What if I don't wake up at all?
Am I ready to leave? No, for thousands of millions of reasons - all selfish in nature.
My blood test results turn out to be okay, no diabetic.
We went for check up on Friday and baby's weight can be anywhere between 3 to 3.5 Kg, his 'age' can be anywhere between 36 to 40 weeks with a +/- of 22 days.
Doctor feels the baby is still high up in the uterus and so not a case of concern (for me to go into labor).
I have a dozen or so people, strangers included who would swear that I am carrying a boy. At the same time, a good number of people would bet on a girl, Dr Suhaimi included. I guess, we now have just one more day to find out, don't we?
My sister came over on deepavali, bringing with her what I would be eating during confinement. I think. Have everyting all set now. Just waiting for the baby to arrive and I live long enough to play mother to it.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Week 36
Today is 19 Oct 2011. I am 11 days away from D-day. Eeeeeeeps!
Had blood glucose test done this morning - am still waiting for the results. Hopefully the readings are normal. I should get the unofficial result by today, Dr Joy said she would call.
I have decided not to go to office today. It aches when I walk, and the tummy is always doing the tightening routine. Baby's movements may not be in the form of quick jabs and kicks anymore, but each motion is more painful. I know it is getting cramped in there and doesn't provide for much manouevering. It sure is painful. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the fact that the womb has been cut one 3 times, the pain is more felt now than before.
During the hospital visit, Dr Suhaimi accidentally mentioned that I would be getting a burger instead of a hot dog. Sheesh! Didn't I say NOT to tell me the gender?
Had blood glucose test done this morning - am still waiting for the results. Hopefully the readings are normal. I should get the unofficial result by today, Dr Joy said she would call.
I have decided not to go to office today. It aches when I walk, and the tummy is always doing the tightening routine. Baby's movements may not be in the form of quick jabs and kicks anymore, but each motion is more painful. I know it is getting cramped in there and doesn't provide for much manouevering. It sure is painful. Maybe it's the age, maybe it's the fact that the womb has been cut one 3 times, the pain is more felt now than before.
During the hospital visit, Dr Suhaimi accidentally mentioned that I would be getting a burger instead of a hot dog. Sheesh! Didn't I say NOT to tell me the gender?
Monday, October 17, 2011
Week 35 - 17 Oct 2011
I am now two weeks away from D-day.
Things are all set - the room is ready, the hospital bag is ready, appointments with OT and masseur made, the necessary medicinal plants are all thriving well around the house. Recipes collected and the basic dry ingredients (anchovies, black pepper) all stocked up. I am good.
Was at the hospital just now. Baby's size is as per estimated week, plus minus a few days except for the stomach size. The baby's stomach size is as if it is 38 weeks. Weight estimation is 3kg. In two weeks, it would be 3.4kg. Now, that's a bit too big for my size.
We havent done a blood glucose level test yet. To rule out big-baby-due-to-diabetic-condition, that test is imperative. so i will be going this weekend.
Things are all set - the room is ready, the hospital bag is ready, appointments with OT and masseur made, the necessary medicinal plants are all thriving well around the house. Recipes collected and the basic dry ingredients (anchovies, black pepper) all stocked up. I am good.
Was at the hospital just now. Baby's size is as per estimated week, plus minus a few days except for the stomach size. The baby's stomach size is as if it is 38 weeks. Weight estimation is 3kg. In two weeks, it would be 3.4kg. Now, that's a bit too big for my size.
We havent done a blood glucose level test yet. To rule out big-baby-due-to-diabetic-condition, that test is imperative. so i will be going this weekend.
Monday, October 3, 2011
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